Shilo's Thoughts

So many of you spend a lot of time talking to me. Or at me. It's like you think I understand or care what you're saying. I do understand most of what you say. But I don't care at all. No, sorry. Not even a little bit. You're mostly telling me what I already know. Yes, I am good-looking and have beautiful eyes and yes, my life is Mum, Will and bacon. The thing is that while you are talking, you're not addressing my bacon needs. Which is strange, because why else would you come here? Please don't get me wrong, I know many of you come a long way to give me bacon.You ride through rain and cold and need to spend time near one of the fires warming yourself - you know you'd be warmer if you had more fur on your bodies...just sayin'... Anyway, you come all this way to get me some bacon and then what do you do? You spend a lot of important bacon fetching time talking to me and patting me and giving me orders. Has it occurred to you that I may not want to sit righ...

What a time to be alive! The other day Mum gave me a new thing. She called it "Sea Bacon". At first I thought she may be unwell. Of course I couldn't see bacon. I can always see bacon and smell it and taste it. Hell, I dream of chasing bacon through the paddocks. But this bacon was not like normal bacon. It came wrapped in this thick, gooey white stuff, which was then wrapped in some very dark green stuff. When I sniffed it, it smelled like Will's underpants when he comes back from a few days riding his bike. Not unpleasant but thick and rich, and it could make a lesser dogs eyes water. This is the Sea Bacon Mum gave me. It took a little effort to unwrap it. I'm sure she didn't expect me to eat the green stuff or the white stuff. Maybe she just wanted to see how clever I was. And let me tell you, I'm not too bad for a creature without opposable thumbs. Let's see you unwrap Sea Bacon using just your mouth. When I got to Sea Bacon, it was delicious. And ...