SEA BACON

What a time to be alive! The other day Mum gave me a new thing. She called it "Sea Bacon". At first I thought she may be unwell. Of course I couldn't see bacon. I can always see bacon and smell it and taste it. Hell, I dream of chasing bacon through the paddocks.


But this bacon was not like normal bacon. It came wrapped in this thick, gooey white stuff, which was then wrapped in some very dark green stuff. When I sniffed it, it smelled like Will's underpants when he comes back from a few days riding his bike. Not unpleasant but thick and rich, and it could make a lesser dogs eyes water.

This is the Sea Bacon Mum gave me. It took a little effort to unwrap it. I'm sure she didn't expect me to eat the green stuff or the white stuff. Maybe she just wanted to see how clever I was. And let me tell you, I'm not too bad for a creature without opposable thumbs. Let's see you unwrap Sea Bacon using just your mouth.

When I got to Sea Bacon, it was delicious. And Mum and Will were very happy to see me eat it. Will even said: "the bloody thing is eating sushi!". I don't know what that means, but I know Sea Bacon is good.

Mum said tonight we are having butter chicken. I'm sure it tastes like bacon because she loves me.

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