THE STICK THING

 Have I told you about my stick thing? No matter I'll tell you again.

I like sticks. And mum loves me so much she has put so many sticks around the bacon-eating platforms, I will never run out of them.


I chew them a lot. Many of them are flavoured with bacon because so many people drop bacon when they eat. So wasteful and clumsy. I eat the bacon, and then later I come back and chew the stick the bacon landed on and flavoured up. It's like a double helping of bacon. 

This is the magic of bacon. It flavours everything it touches with its yumminess. If you see me licking the concrete, you'll know why.

See? I'm not complicated. If you don't understand what I'm doing, just consider that bacon is involved some way. I feel about bacon they way many of you feel about your bikes, your partners, or your pups. You don't get to eat those things. But I get to eat bacon.

Sucks to be you.

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