Shilo's Thoughts

Have any of you bothered to look into my eyes? I have very nice eyes. They are brown and gentle, and when you look into them, you will know peace. And you will hand over your damn bacon, because that’s what my eyes are telling you. Also, don’t stare at me. I’m a dog. When you stare at a dog we take it as a sign of aggression. Of course, I am not aggressive. At all. So when you stare at me, I will probably walk off. And if I walk off, then you won’t be able to feed me any of your bacon…um, actually, let’s call it “our bacon”, shall we? Because that’s what it is.   You say you paid for it? So? What does that even mean? You waved your hand over a beeping chew-toy, it beeped, and you got bacon in return. Sounds to me like you got bacon for a beep.   Here’s the deal: Either you show me how this beep-for-bacon caper works, or you hand over our bacon. You know you want to. Look into my eyes…

Will has been making a lot of noise lately.I think it has to do with this giant box he is making to stop the sun from shining on the concrete where I warm myself. For someone who complains about the cold so much he spends a lot of time blocking out the sun. When I go to check out what he is making, he makes more noise and I have to aim my ears backwards to keep much of it out. The things he hangs on to, to make the giant box are very very noisy. He also yells my name a lot. Usually when he yells my name he wants me to come to him, or he is thanking me for digging him another dancing hole. I'm unclear why he is yelling my name when I am already near him. Maybe he like the sound it makes. I know he likes the big box he has made because he shows it to everyone and when he does that these people buy bacon and give me some of it. I feel like I'm winning here.

So many of you spend a lot of time talking to me. Or at me. It's like you think I understand or care what you're saying. I do understand most of what you say. But I don't care at all. No, sorry. Not even a little bit. You're mostly telling me what I already know. Yes, I am good-looking and have beautiful eyes and yes, my life is Mum, Will and bacon. The thing is that while you are talking, you're not addressing my bacon needs. Which is strange, because why else would you come here? Please don't get me wrong, I know many of you come a long way to give me bacon.You ride through rain and cold and need to spend time near one of the fires warming yourself - you know you'd be warmer if you had more fur on your bodies...just sayin'... Anyway, you come all this way to get me some bacon and then what do you do? You spend a lot of important bacon fetching time talking to me and patting me and giving me orders. Has it occurred to you that I may not want to sit righ...

What a time to be alive! The other day Mum gave me a new thing. She called it "Sea Bacon". At first I thought she may be unwell. Of course I couldn't see bacon. I can always see bacon and smell it and taste it. Hell, I dream of chasing bacon through the paddocks. But this bacon was not like normal bacon. It came wrapped in this thick, gooey white stuff, which was then wrapped in some very dark green stuff. When I sniffed it, it smelled like Will's underpants when he comes back from a few days riding his bike. Not unpleasant but thick and rich, and it could make a lesser dogs eyes water. This is the Sea Bacon Mum gave me. It took a little effort to unwrap it. I'm sure she didn't expect me to eat the green stuff or the white stuff. Maybe she just wanted to see how clever I was. And let me tell you, I'm not too bad for a creature without opposable thumbs. Let's see you unwrap Sea Bacon using just your mouth. When I got to Sea Bacon, it was delicious. And ...

 Have I told you about my stick thing? No matter I'll tell you again. I like sticks. And mum loves me so much she has put so many sticks around the bacon-eating platforms, I will never run out of them. I chew them a lot. Many of them are flavoured with bacon because so many people drop bacon when they eat. So wasteful and clumsy. I eat the bacon, and then later I come back and chew the stick the bacon landed on and flavoured up. It's like a double helping of bacon.  This is the magic of bacon. It flavours everything it touches with its yumminess. If you see me licking the concrete, you'll know why. See? I'm not complicated. If you don't understand what I'm doing, just consider that bacon is involved some way. I feel about bacon they way many of you feel about your bikes, your partners, or your pups. You don't get to eat those things. But I get to eat bacon. Sucks to be you.

 As I said the other day, Mum has been sad because our friend Gary is not around anymore. So because I love my mum. and I loved Gary, I had to find a way to cheer her up. Yes, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking I should dig some more dancing holes for Will. When he steps into one of them and starts dancing and yelling my name, it cheers everyone up. It's just not possible to be sad when Will is dancing, yelling and crashing into things. I never understood why he bothered filling them in. It's not like I wouldn't dig others whenever I wanted to. So I put a few new ones in on the path Will takes when he covers himself with water every morning. Mum was having her cup of tea when he stepped into the first one. The dancing started immediately, and mum laughed a little bit. That made me feel very good. I like making mum laugh. I think Will does too. Why else would he step into my dancing holes? It's not like he's blind.